Part II: Top 10 Ways to NOT get a Girlfriend

Shack-Up Season has officially commenced. So help me help you, Gentlemen. I know you wanna’ find yourself a cute lil cuddle-buddy. Here is a list of what not to do.

Also, make sure you read Top 10 Ways to Not get a Boyfriend!


1. Propose after one month. Mystery is overrated.

2. Ask, “Sooooo, how do you wanna’ do this?” when the check is dropped.

3. Get sloppy drunk during dinner. I love babysitting my date.

4.Compliment me incessantly. This just confirms that I’m out of your league. (Note: Also bad if you don’t compliment me at all. I know, this is a tricky one)

5. Tote me around to meet your friends like I’m some kind of spit-shined souvenir.

6. Treat service personnel poorly. (e.g. Not tipping 20%) And seriously, if your phone is on during dinner just throw in the towel now…

7.Wear Ed Hardy. Or anything bedazzled. All. The. Time.

7.5. Wear a Ferrari/Porsche/BMW hat. We all know you don’t drive a Ferrari. It’s not cute. And if you do, do you really want to be advertising your mid-life crisis?

8. Let me know how many reps you do in the gym and that your “guns aren’t registered.”

9. Text me to let me know you’re here. This isn’t curbside pick-up. Get your butt out of the car to come get me. (-Danielle S.)

10. Say you admire and respect the fact that I still have my V-Card and then proceed to get frustrated & angry when I refuse your ever-so-generous sexual invitations.

*You’re encouraged to add your own list of qualms in the comments section.*


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s