Top 10 Ways to NOT get a Boyfriend

1. Wear the sluttiest outfit you own. Always. It makes for a great Walk of Shame.

2. Randomly show up at his house after he neglects to respond to your last 37 text messages.

3. Never [EVER!] leave the side of your eight closest girlfriends.

4. Use your body as a bargaining tool.

5. Tell your friend to tell his second cousin’s sister that you think “he’s, like, super cute.”

6. Continuously talk about your pets as if they are your children. Complete with family photo album. (-Rozi)

7. Change your relationship status to “It’s Complicated” after two dates. Is it? Really?

8. Abandon everything and everyone on a whim when he wants to hang out. Everyone loves an easily-attainable, flighty girl.

9. Ask him “who’s that?” with every beep of his phone. Then proceed to stalk his FB and inquire about every woman who comments on his page.

10. Be aggressive! BE, BE aggressive! Nothing quite says “long term” like making out with a random in a bar.

“Still wondering why you’re desperately single?” (I say in my game-show host voice) Take this helpful and 100% accurate test by Seventeen magazine: Why am I single?

Why would I recommend this? Because you’re probably acting like you’re seventeen.


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