This post is written by my beautiful, strong, smart and God-filled friend Karen Sousa. Men, don’t be deceived, this is just as much directed towards you as it is towards women….
A WOMAN’S WORTH
Why boys don’t see it:
When a guy stops calling after weeks or months long of seeming wonderful, did you ever ask yourself, “WHY?!” so loud that the words could almost be read on your forehead? And why didn’t you realize that he wasn’t that into you before? And why wasn’t he? Answer: because he wasn’t aware of your worth as a real woman, or you weren’t acting like one, or both. We’ll address his portion of the problem and call him, “the unknowing man.”
The first thing you can do when this happens is not take his ignorance personally. Sounds crazy, I mean you’re the victim, aren’t you? Yes and no, he may have treated you poorly but chances are he doesn’t know how to treat you properly. He probably has no idea. Likely, he has no parental role models for the way a man should act towards a woman, or the awareness of a good woman who is wife and mother-material. So he has gone through life picking up cues from his buds who inspire him to simply get the most he can from as many hot girls he can. He’s not future-driven because he has no vision for a good long-term relationship. Chances are, he is also looking for the wrong kind of affection to mask the brokenness at home. He doesn’t understand or possess real love, so he goes for its short-term-sister; affection. He is unknowing, and he will remain that way until he is enlightened with the truth about love and the truth about a woman’s worth. It may take a good role-model, maybe he will see the vision in a different family, or it may take a woman who will show him what love really is by knowing it well herself.
Not every guy is so innocent in his fault, some are totally aware that they’re lusting and taking names. Maybe they are desperate for love by means of affection too, but they know that real love is attainable. This guy’s only excuse may be that he hasn’t found a woman who knows her own worth yet. So he’s just getting what he can while it lasts. And he won’t stop until that one girl makes him. He’ll have to work for her like he’s never worked for anything before. He will have to learn patience, how to invest in a woman, and the utmost vulnerability he’ll ever experience. The sad part is, most girls who are confident enough to set their boundaries, won’t waste time on a guy who doesn’t already know how to treat her right. He could go his entire life without ever experiencing real love from a real woman. If this happens, he won’t reap his seed until he’s too old and too alone.
Why girls don’t see it:
Now it’s time to address our side (the girl’s side) of the predicament. Whether it’s “Mr. Unknowing man” or just “Mr. Wrong,” the poor treatment wouldn’t happen if we didn’t let it! Believe me when I say, there is NO man who will treat a woman right unless she is acting like she’s worth it. Even the most mature and good-character man will get tired, eventually, of the girl that doesn’t know how to act like a real woman.
If you are like me; growing up in a culture where “sex sells” and every new generation takes more and more value away from conservativeness, than you were ignorant to a woman’s worth as well. Especially if you also didn’t have the role-models at home; then you saw your peers, their looks, and their “out-put” as the way to get a guy’s attention. You only saw the cover of the book that is the relationships of today, and not the inside story of dishonor. You keep waiting for the chance to be a good wife and a good mother, but you keep elongating the opportunity because you’re not acting like it already. Are you really going to help raise a generation of men who don’t respect women because you won’t respect yourself? You will if you don’t learn how to BE a woman who is worth more.
What it really is:
I realize that’s it isn’t cool to talk about modesty anymore. I realize that the women of today think that they’re liberated be acting like a “sexual being” and embracing their so-called sexuality. Well I’ll be the first to stand up above the crowd and tell you to, STOP IT! You are believing a lie that was set up to limit you and make your life miserable. You are taking part in the destruction of the family-unit all across the world. We need to wake up and raise our young girls differently, before they all end up like us; lost, without a purpose, and no idea of their role as a woman. With all that said, please don’t confuse the outburst for some kind of self-restrictive womanizer. I consider myself liberated because I know what it feels like to live the way women were created for.
A woman is the loyal and trusting rock that our men can rely on. A woman of worth knows she is better than the girl that gives it up for free. She is smart, forgiving, gentle, but bold. She is compassionate about others and willingly gives up her wants for her children. She can raise warriors and leaders. She can clean up after virtually everyone and not become bitter. She has self-control and doesn’t believe in the over-powering ability of feelings. But she can also speak her mind with authority and conviction. She can stand up for herself and demand what she deserves and she can do it without saying anything out of uncontrolled emotions. A real woman will stand by her husband even when his feet smell, his business fails, and his hair turns gray. And she knows she’s worth gold for that alone. She knows that she carries the gift of creating a legacy for the real-man who knows the importance of building one. She is real, live, flesh, who can satisfy her husband eternally, not a fake and temporary romanticism on a screen. She is deserving of a man who will appreciate her ability to believe in him no matter what. She is beautiful because she knows it, and she requires being treated like it.