That was his comeback. And this is a real-life situation that went down in a bar last night…
I am with my girlfriends at a local pub, sober as a judge (because I’m training for a fitness competition, but more on that in another post), when out of nowhere, a random guy slaps my ass and walks away without a word. For a second I thought maybe it was an accident, or maybe he thought I was someone else, and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I look at The Best Friend, who saw the dirty deed go down, and she informs me that he definitely gave me the look-over and decided he was gonna test out the goods. I’m in shock. No man has had the audacity to do this to me in years. She immediately walks over and tells him to keep his grimy hands to himself. After she points him out to me – because I only saw the back of the coward’s head as he was walking away – I stride over to this mid-40ish man and this was our conversation:
Me: Did you just slap my ass?
Tool: My hand might’ve glided over your ass, yes.
Me: And why would you think that would be appropriate?
Tool: Um, I don’t know.
Me: Well it’s not. Don’t ever lay your fu*#in hands on me again or I’ll have you kicked out. Do you understand?
Tool: Yeah, that’s fair.
Me: Don’t ever lay your hands on any woman again.
Tool: Yeah, I said that’s fair!
Me: Good. *walks away*
…30 seconds later he approaches me, stumbling…
Tool: Ya, you know, I have to tell you one thing.
Me: And what is that?
Tool: You’re not even that cute!
Me: hahahahah. Okay.
… aaaand this is when I start cracking up while my pack of girlfriends don’t even bat an eyelash before they jump to my defense. Good thing the bartender/friend who was working intervened before they ate him alive.
This is not the first time this sort of situation has happened to me and I’m tired of it. It’s not okay. It’s not okay to be treated as a sub-human and it’s absolutely nuts to be angry and irate after I tell you that it’s not okay. I’m sure I [gladly] bruised your ego in front of your friends, you old, overweight drunkard but honestly, you thought you could just get away with it?
Yeah, I’d like to think I have a pretty nice ass. No, that does not mean you can touch it. Women are not objects. We are not to be fondled or harassed.
At the end of the day, I can say I stuck up for myself. And I can proudly proclaim that I have amazing girlfriends that would rip someone apart in a minute if I needed them to. <3
Ladies, please, NEVER EVER tolerate that sort of behavior from anyone.
Men, learn respect.